Understanding the True Meaning of Love
The word "love" is often thrown around casually, yet its true meaning remains elusive to many. We frequently say we love someone or something, but our feelings are often tied to what we gain from that person or thing. We cry when a relationship ends, not necessarily because love is gone, but because we've lost the benefits, comfort, or sense of self that came with it. This begs the question: what is true love?
The Difference Between True and False Love
True love isn't something you have to force or cultivate; it exists naturally within you. It's an innate desire to connect with and nurture another being with compassion. Think of it as a wellspring of generosity—it flows outward from the heart without the expectation of personal gain. When you truly love someone, your focus shifts entirely to their well-being. It's about giving freely and willingly, finding joy in their happiness, and offering yourself without strings attached. This kind of love doesn't benefit the giver; it benefits the one who is loved.
In contrast, what we often mistake for love is a conditional, self-serving affection. It’s rooted in what we get out of the relationship—security, companionship, validation, or emotional support. This isn't inherently bad, but it’s a form of transactional affection, not unconditional love. When a relationship based on this kind of love ends, the pain comes from the loss of a benefit, not the loss of a deep, selfless connection.
Love, Commitment, and Union
Love is an unconditional offering from the heart, but it's not what keeps a couple together. Love is a choice we make to be open, giving, and vulnerable. It's a flow that we can either allow or block. What truly sustains a relationship is the decision to be together. Commitment is the deliberate act of choosing to walk a shared path, and love is the fuel that makes that journey beautiful.
True love requires trust and vulnerability. To love another is to open your heart completely, which can be a scary and challenging thing to do. A selfish person, who is only focused on their own needs and desires, simply can't experience this kind of love. They are unable to give freely because their perspective is always centered on what they can receive.
When a deeply connected couple separates, the grief we feel isn't just about losing love—it's about the dissolution of a union. In a committed relationship, two individuals become one cohesive unit. You build a life, a shared identity, and a sense of "we." The pain of separation is so profound because it's like losing a part of yourself. It's the painful breaking of that union, not the disappearance of love, that truly causes the tears.
Love, in its purest form, is a selfless act of giving. It is the decision to open your heart and make yourself vulnerable to another. What we often forget is that while love is a feeling, the choice to act on it is what truly matters.
By Mendel Tornek